The Benefits of Talking to Strangers

*Disclaimer* – I have feelings about this, and let me tell you, they’re as tangled as my headphones after a gym session. I’ve been tuning into a plethora of podcasts that practically scream “don’t talk to strangers!” (LOL). Meanwhile, my stress levels are {insert dramatic sigh here}. Just this week, I was engrossed in Stop Letting Everything Affect You: How to Break Free From Overthinking, Emotional Chaos, and Self-sabotage by Daniel Chidiac, where they waved research at me as if it was a magic wand, claiming we should chat with strangers. Naturally, I felt compelled to investigate these alleged benefits!

In the words of Dr. Gillian Sandstrom:

“I’m an introvert. Growing up, I fantasised that one day I’d live on my very own island. I didn’t quite know what to do around other people. I still feel that way a lot of the time. I feel at my most uncomfortable in a crowded room full of people. In a situation like that, you simply won’t notice me… I’m not interested in figuring out how to insert myself into a group conversation, and I’m absolutely fine with that. Yet I love talking to strangers.” – Citation

Why Chatting with Strangers is Like Free Therapy (Without the Bill)

More and more studies are showing that chatting with strangers can really boost our mood. Nick Epley and Juliana Schroeder did a cool experiment with commuters in Chicago, where they encouraged people to strike up a conversation on the train. And guess what? After talking to someone, folks felt way better! But here’s the kicker: when they were asked what they thought talking to someone on the train would be like, most predicted they’d prefer to just sit quietly instead (Epley, N., & Schroeder, J., 2014).

It turns out people underestimate how fun social interactions can be, often overlooking the excitement and joy that comes with connecting with others. Engaging in conversations with new acquaintances can not only brighten our day but also introduce us to fresh perspectives and ideas that we might not encounter otherwise.

Plus, research by Stav Atir, Kristina Wald, and Nick Epley showed that chatting with strangers actually helps us learn more than we think, revealing that these interactions can enhance our cognitive abilities and improve our social skills. By fostering a sense of community and belonging, these spontaneous moments of communication can enrich our lives in ways we often fail to appreciate (Atir et al., 2022).

The personal benefits:

Improved Mood & Happiness: Studies consistently show that people feel happier and more optimistic after talking to strangers, countering their initial expectations that others wouldn’t want to be approached. It turns out that those random chats, whether in line at the coffee shop or while waiting for the bus, can spark joy and positivity, making the world feel just a bit brighter for everyone involved.
Reduced Loneliness & Anxiety: Engaging in even minimal social interactions with strangers can reduce feelings of isolation and improve mental health by creating a sense of connection and shared humanity.
Increased Social Skills: Regularly talking with new people helps improve your ability to navigate social situations, increasing confidence and potentially decreasing social anxiety over time.
Enhanced Creativity & Learning: Conversations with strangers provide new ideas and perspectives, which can stimulate creativity and lead to unforeseen learning opportunities and a more informed life.

The Societal Benefits:

Strengthened Community: Brief, positive interactions with strangers humanize others, build trust, and create a greater sense of belonging within a community
Bridging Divides: Engaging with people outside your usual social circles can reduce prejudice and break down echo chambers, helping to build common ground and fostering a more connected society.
Cultivating Curiosity: Focusing on curiosity can shift the focus from potential danger or awkwardness to the opportunity for connection, encouraging a more open and less anxious approach to social interactions.

Don’t know where to start?

Don’t worry, I google’d it for us – only one of our search histories has to show we didn’t know.

Start small: A smile, eye contact, or a simple greeting can be enough to initiate a positive, brief encounter. These small gestures can pave the way for deeper conversations and connections, building trust and rapport gradually over time.
Be curious: Approach conversations with a curious mindset, which can reduce anxiety and open you up to new experiences and connections.
Look for opportunities: Recognize that chances to connect with strangers are often present in daily life, such as at the grocery store or in a coffee shop

Why We Avoid Strangers Like They’re Selling Insurance

There are virtually infinite things to fret over: What if my conversation partner is more boring than watching paint dry? Even scarier, what if they think I’m the human equivalent of a sneeze in a quiet room? What if the words dry up faster than a cactus in a drought? And what if I decide it’s time to bail from the chat, but I can’t escape like a cartoon character trapped in a never-ending loop?

Your fears are shared by nearly everyone, even those who seem confident. It’s funny because people usually see themselves as better than average, but Erica Boothby and her team asked about casual conversation skills at social events. They compared this to ratings on three lists of common activities and found the typical above-average effect, except when it came to talking to strangers.

Talking to strangers is a skill you can level up! It’s wild how hard it can be to grasp that chatting with random people usually leads to cool conversations, not awkward silences. We often think every person we meet is one-of-a-kind, and whether a chat goes well or not hinges on that single person.

My Personal List Includes:

Morbid Podcast
My inability to not giggle around strangers
Forgetting someone’s name in .03 seconds of telling me
Immediately deciding we’re besties
If I meet another yapper we’ll never stop

Embrace the Joy of Connecting with Strangers

Talking to strangers makes the world better because it humanises ‘other people’. Having a minimal social interaction with a stranger acknowledges your shared humanity and sets the foundation for empathy and understanding.

Research by Wesselmann and colleagues has found that even simply making eye contact with someone can make them feel more connected and recognized as individuals with unique stories and perspectives. This act of connection is essential in fostering a sense of community and belonging, reinforcing the idea that we are all part of a larger tapestry of life.

Humanisation is crucial to our civic society, as it helps to break down the barriers of isolation and prejudice that can create division and conflict. Throughout history, dehumanisation has been used as a way to encourage people to do awful things, leading to tragic consequences.

By engaging with strangers and recognizing their humanity, we can cultivate a more compassionate society, where differences are celebrated and understanding prevails. Ultimately, these interactions nurture a culture of respect and kindness, reminding us that at our core, we all share the same hopes, dreams, and struggles.

When people get anxious about chatting with strangers, they usually steer clear of it. And let’s be real, it’s way too easy nowadays! In our fast-moving world, we’ve cut down on chances to connect with others. For example, we can just hit up self-checkouts at the grocery store and handle our banking online. Skipping the small talk with the cashier or bank teller might feel like a win, especially for those of us who get a bit awkward in social situations (which, honestly, is a lot of us!).

Reducing minimal social interactions due to fear or efficiency can lead to rusty social skills and maladaptive thoughts about one’s social abilities, fostering loneliness. As individuals start avoiding social interactions, it contributes to a loneliness epidemic. While engaging with strangers won’t instantly solve loneliness, it can assist in developing social skills and promoting a more positive view of others.

A Vibrational Space